It's not fair

This past week has not been the best for reasons I will not go into here, but it has led to me shouting at God, telling him, “It’s not fair!” (I also added some other words, following the example of the Psalmist). The honesty and poetry of the Psalms can be really helpful, encouraging us as followers of Jesus to be authentic with God regarding our emotions. I mean, have you read Psalm 58 in The Message?

God, smash their teeth to bits,

leave them toothless tigers.

Let their lives be buckets of water spilled,

all that’s left, a damp stain in the sand.

Let them be trampled grass

worn smooth by the traffic.

Let them dissolve into snail slime,

be a miscarried fetus that never sees sunlight.

Before what they cook up is half-done, God,

throw it out with the rubbish!

I have prayed this Psalm over people before, but this time, my rant has been one of fairness - or lack of. The source of my frustration has been with a justice system that is biased towards the wealthy and influential and not the truth - and the fact that people seem to be able to get away with all sorts of things. So, I began to pray and look for somewhere to gain comfort while still being able to verbalise my feelings when the Holy Spirit led me to Psalm 73. It addresses issues of fairness, not from an ivory tower of philosophical ideas but from the trenches of painful experience. The Psalms are so refreshingly honest. They do not present the misleading notion that if you’re a believer, life will be free of troubles, and you’ll constantly proclaim, “Praise the Lord!” The Psalms are filled with praise for God and teach us to be people of praise. However, they realistically demonstrate that such praise does not come without struggle. The psalmist here admits that he almost slipped (73:2). Yet, he illustrates how he worked through his dilemma of questioning God’s fairness in light of the prosperity of the wicked and the suffering of the righteous.

The psalmist begins with his perspective, “Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart!” In contrast, he mentions his own near fall, stating, “But as for me, my feet came close to stumbling; my steps had almost slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” He then describes the wicked, who seem to prosper despite their arrogance and blasphemous defiance of God. At this point, he concluded that he was wasting his time trying to live a godly life, as all he experienced was trouble.

The psalmist's struggles were not those of a sceptic or unbeliever. He sought to be pure in heart before God. His struggles led to bitterness rising in his heart, which serves as a warning to people like me who feel an injustice has been committed. Perhaps my theology is more framed on the Hollywood blockbusters where the little guy gets revenge, and payback occurs. The point is we do not live in Hollywood, and so we need to be mindful of thoughts of bitterness and hand such thoughts over to God.

Nevertheless, I cannot hide my frustration, nor can I pretend to wear a happy face and claim that all is well between God and me when, internally, I am struggling with bitterness. I acknowledge my inner turmoil and am working through it so that, alongside the psalmist, I can ultimately declare with sincerity, “God is the strength of my heart.”

When grappling with a difficult problem like this, we must remember God’s words (Isa. 55:8), “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord.” For one thing, we are inherently bound by time. A few years can feel like an eternity for us. But for God, a thousand years are like a day. His ways are often mysterious to us. To understand God’s ways, it can help to spend some time in Psalms whilst opening our hearts to the Holy Spirit.

I am comforted that the psalmist mentions that he “pondered to understand this.” The answers did not come to him immediately, as he adds that it was troublesome in his sight; the full answer would arrive after he entered the sanctuary of God. But the point is he took time to reflect in order to understand things. Psalm 73 suggests that the way out of the “life isn’t fair” pity party is to gain God’s eternal perspective on matters. In two of the most beautiful verses in the Bible, he exclaims (73:25-26), “Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and heart may fail, but God is my heart's strength and portion forever.” After spending some time in Psalm 73, I have been able to pray a blessing on the parties involved. It has been a hard prayer issued through somewhat gritted teeth. Nevertheless, I was able to pray it.

Anything else is now up to God, and I will leave it with Him. However, I have reminded him of Psalm 58, in case he runs short of ideas.

Simon Mattholie

CEO, Rural Ministries